Remember When the Well Ran Dry?

Remember when the well went dry?

Recently, our grandson discovered the sprinkler. In fact, he learned how to lay down on his belly, take hold and get a drink; water spraying in his face, giggles, with his eyes closed. Is there anything better than a drink of really cold, fresh water on a hot day? Or a snow cone? Or a frozen lemonade?

For as long as I can remember, the first thing I do in the morning is make myself a glass of iced water. (Now that I’m older, I try to add a little lemon…) Come to think of it, I take a glass of water to bed with me too! (And no, if you’re asking, I don’t have half-glasses of water abandoned in key places all over the house...)

Years ago, Bill and I had the magnificent opportunity to minister in the Dominican Republic. For a season, before we moved to North Carolina, we were privileged to be asked to participate in pastoral training, serving with missionaries and ministries in the interior of the island. We returned several times, in fact. It is one of our girls’ fondest memories. So saying, let me offer this: if you have never seen the world from a view other than your own, please know that just one experience like that (a short-term mission trip) will change your life forever.  We made friends we will never forget, and would love to see again.

The campground where we gathered was in a little town called La Vega. Near the compound was an area where many people lived, called the “barrio.” The homes were very small, two-room huts, with dirt floors. Holes were cut in variegated steel, to provide screen-less windows. The toilet was a community hole, dug not too far from the living spaces. (On a tropical island, no one flushes their toilet paper – it gets buried with the evidence of a deed accomplished.) Water was collected with large coffee cans, from a fresh source supplied by the town. Personal hygiene was taken care of in-house, the old fashioned way, with a bowl of water and a rag; with soap if they had it.

Somewhere in the midst of those journeys, I became extremely thankful for clean, clear, running water that flowed at will from my kitchen and bathroom faucets. Water I didn’t have to boil before using. Water I could pay someone for supplying; that came into my house. Water that enabled the flushing of should-otherwise-be-buried substances with the accompanying toilet paper!

In first-world countries, we tend to take something as basic as water for granted, don’t we?  It’s there when we brush our teeth. We turn on the faucet and clean our vegetables. We make our coffee. We water the lawn. We fill our swimming pools. We wash our laundry. We cook our food. We load the dishwasher. It’s always available; in a seemingly unlimited in supply.

It was just prior to my diagnosis, I realized I had been treating my physical body the same way I had always treated the kitchen faucet. It was a somewhat scary discovery. You see, I had always been task oriented. In fact, I remember one semester in college where I worked, travelled with a choir, and carried 26 credit hours. You probably already guessed it. About half-way through the semester, I began to drag. I mean like behind-a-running-horse drag. I fell asleep during classes. I couldn’t keep up with assignments. I found myself doing things half-way because there wasn’t time to do them completely. I forgot things. Consequently, every moment had, by necessity, become scheduled. At one point, I really believed I was going to die early. When that sixteen weeks ended, and my finals were completed, I stayed three days in bed.

At the time, I had no idea what had been happening in my body that semester. Come to think of it, I have now concluded I must have been following the same patterns for a long time before I ever entered college. I must have always thought that way. Whatever was on the list had to be accomplished. No matter what. I remember going to work when I was sick. Or living on cold medicine when I should have been in bed. No matter what expending of energy was needed in my day, I just made myself keep going.

There were nights I just stayed up all night so I could get everything done. Come to think of it, I must have thrived on that; even after I was a young mom.

Even in college, perhaps before college, I expected my physical energy to just be available, like water from the kitchen faucet. And, when it ran out, it wasn’t like me to sit down. I would just drink some caffeine, or took some B-complex, or guarana capsules.  Sometimes, a cookie, or a candy bar, or a soda pop, or even both at the same time, provided a little pick-me-up. So much of the time in those days, I forgot to eat. At all. A lot. Some nights, I’d get to nine at night, experience an empty stomach, and grab some Taco Bell. Or even McDonalds fries. And I never ate breakfast. Unless it was a bowl of cereal in the middle of the night.

Now, more than forty years later, I am picking up the pieces of those life choices. At least three years before my diagnosis, I began experiencing unexplained, unexpected, sudden periods of fatigue. Habitual “power naps” became the rule. And, even though I had grown up somewhat; adjusted my eating patterns, and was taking vitamins and supplements, I still pushed myself too hard.

I realized since those days I had subconsciously confused God’s acceptance of me with my achievements. The more I did, the more I believed He was pleased with me. The better the results of my efforts, the easier it was to feel I was a good Christian, or even a good person.

I had no idea I was heading into adrenal fatigue.

The symptoms included:
1.             I never felt like I’d been asleep long enough, even after a long night’s sleep
2.             Brain “fog”
3.             I had difficulty processing my personal stress
4.             I felt a sense of alert, all the time; high stress
5.             Forgot to eat, so blood sugar got low
6.             I snacked late at night
7.             I couldn’t gather enough energy to complete normal, simple tasks
8.             I felt lethargy, and a lack of enthusiasm in day-to-day life
9.             I developed a low level of constant anxiety
10.      I was unexplainably irritable, without warning
11.      I craved salty foods
12.      I had very little energy in the day, and would experience a burst of energy in the evening.
13.      I struggled with more frequent sinus infections
14.      Understandably, I gained weight. Again. And, it was all in my mid-section.
15.      My lower back would hurt so badly, I found it a problem to move
16.      I experienced dizziness when I stood up too quickly
17.      I had pain in my joints: knees, hips, hands and shoulders
18.      My fingers would go numb for no reason
19.      I urinated more and more on a regular basis
20.      I experienced muscular weakness periodically

There were a few additional symptoms, but this generalized list might help you to nail down an answer if you think you might be dealing with Adrenal Fatigue. Truthfully, I wasn’t able to put all of these issues together as part of the same problem until much later.

In order to deal with Adrenal Fatigue, one of the first things I had to do was deal with the illusion of earning God’s grace and acceptance. I was flat on my back one day when a wave of guilt swept over me. Nothing that needed doing was getting done. The incomplete task list was mounting in our home, and there was nothing I could do about it. It seemed as though the more I did, the more I uncovered that needed to be done. I began to apologize for not “meeting” my own standards and expectations.  It took a little while to allow myself to admit that I was the only one upset.

They were all concerned. They didn’t say much, because they didn’t know what to say.

It was during that time, I was forced to accept a new reality. Self-care and self-compassion are important elements of learning to receive the love of God. The received and applied love of God are the only antidote for Performance Orientation. And let’s face it, we all need a break from conditional life and relationships.

I am learning now to limit my caffeine intake. I drink protein shakes, and eat raw foods. I juice. Most importantly, I don’t over-schedule my life. Therapists in my field call it the “Principle of Eight.” That means; we all have 24 hours in a day. Those hours must be balanced between, Work, Rest and Play (or Re-creation). For our lives to be balanced, we must learn to accept limitations of each of those three elements, and honor an 8-hour pattern, divided three ways.  Eight hours of work, eight hours of rest, eight hours of recreation.

In the midst of our hectic and over-stimulated culture, please take a moment and consider. Are you living your life in balance?  If not, begin with the Principle of Eight. What small change would you be willing to make in order to avoid Adrenal Fatigue? Don’t let your well run dry before you do something about it.


Next up:  Are you a liver lover?

©2016 Debbye Graafsma/Awakened to Grow. No part of this publication may be reproduced without permission.

Disclaimer: Although I am a counselor, and hold my doctorate, I am not a medical doctor. So, the views and suggestions which have helped me in my own healing journey may or may not work for you. While I hope my stories and suggestions will help and encourage you, nothing I post here should be taken as a diagnosis or medical opinion. If you are concerned about your health, please seek the advice of a professional.